Complaint Letter

Captain Jack Sparrow
C/o Black Pearl
103.6˚W 6.2˚S
Caribbean Sea

23 December 1860

Consumer Support Cell
M/s Sell N Smell Artillery Suppliers
# 77, Mystic Lake
Newfound Land- XXX XXX

Dear Sir,

Sub: Complaint regarding faulty artillery
Ref: Bill no:990099 dated 15 November 1860

We had purchased our main supply of artillery from your company this October. Within a month of purchase, the goods supplied have been found to be faulty. The cannon – Make-it-yourself Cannon set from G&B Company- and barrels of gun powder are damaged beyond repair.

On assembling the parts of the cannon, we found to our utter dismay that not one of the five cannons ordered fire at the target correctly. One of the cannons in fact, literally backfired at our ship causing severe damage to the hull of the ship, almost throwing a few of the crew off the ship. On scrutiny, we found that there were manufacturing defects in the cannons, not to mention a dozen gulls’ eggs in one! The manufacturing date on that cannon showed that it had been manufactured 10 years earlier!!


The gunpowder, on the other hand, was found to be quite effective – in making the crew sneeze continuously. Samples from just 2 of the 10 barrels, functioned properly, the others being totally futile. The wet barrels that arrived to us as part of the delivery – a sign of poor packaging - may have been a cause for this inefficiency.

We would appreciate if your company could replace the cannons and the barrels of gunpowder with efficient ones at the earliest in addition to paying $250 to rectify the damages caused due to the faulty cannons. An alternative would be to refund the money for the cannon, gunpowder purchase besides paying the damages. If we receive no favourable response to this correspondence before two weeks, we will have no other option but to take this matter to the Caribbean Consumer Challenge Center for Pirates to seek justice in the issue.

We hope to hear from you sooner than later.

Yours sincerely
Captain Jack Sparrow

Encl: Copy of bill no 990099